A.J.のインスタグラム(aj_mclean) - 9月15日 11時59分

42 years ago, my parents got a divorce. Over the last 35 years, I have blamed myself. I never knew my father in any way, except what I was told from the rest of my family. My dad would show up at one show or another but I never want it to see him or speak to him. Tonight was the first time in 42 years that my father and I sat down as two grown men and had a conversation about life, my life, his life and life in general. I went into this conversation and meeting with no expectations, but I would be lying. If I said, I wasn’t going into this conversation with fear, anger, resentment, and doubt. For what it’s worth I actually had a good time, I learned when my fathers birthday is some thing I never knew. I learned that my father was a musician. Some thing I never knew. I learned where my name came from some thing I never knew. But I know today that whatever happened between my mom and my dad truly had nothing to do with me, but for the past 35 years, I have blamed my self, lost my self-esteem and created a horrible path for myself surrounding myself with toxic people, toxic relationships, and the most toxic one was my relationship with myself. After three months of intense therapy, I have learned one thing among many I have self-worth and I am valuable. I have a big heart. I am a good person. I am the father and my father never was and I love with all that I have and now I get to direct that love inward for the first time in my life. Today is the beginning of a new chapter in my life with my father again only 1 foot in front of the other thank your dad for taking the time to sit down with your son and see me for who I am.

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