Ashley Jamesのインスタグラム(ashleylouisejames) - 10月6日 04時31分

Mum guilt. Let's talk about it. Because do you know what, I'm just going to say it. I don't feel it. Why?

Because there's no such thing as dad guilt.

That's not to say dad's don't feel guilt. It's just not a *thing*.

The fact mum guilt is, comes down to the fact that we hold mums to MUCH higher standards than dads.

Dads are praised for doing basic parenting. Daddy day care! Baby sitting! Being hands on!

And mums are ... judged for what they do and told they're doing it wrong.

Were held to higher and impossible standards. Fighting the impossible.

We see it all the time - don't have kids if you don't want to look after them. But don't give up your job. But don't have childcare.Work like you have no kids, but raise kids like you have no job. Don't give up your life! But don't leave them with anyone else.
Feeding? Controversial! Sleeping? Wrong!

In the last few days I've received countless DMS - "breaks my heart Ada is having her firsts at childcare, don't you feel guilty?". "She has an allergy, don't you feel guilty! You should be there!". "Having a drink with a friend, you should be with your children?". "Posting another photo of your daughter, don't you love your son?".

And let me ask you a question: would you say this to a dad?

The answer is no.

I work because I have to. I also work because I love it.

I don't judge others for their set up. I support the women who want to work but can't afford to. I support the mums who want to stay home but can't afford to. I support the mums who stay at home and admire you, because I couldn't do it. I support the mums who go to work. I support the mums who bottle feed because of the challenges it brings. I support the mums who breastfeed because of the challenges it brings.

I also trust that all parents do their best with their own set of circumstances. Because our babies are unique. Our strengths and personalities are unique. And our family set up and circumstances are unique. Some of us have a village, some of us have to pay for one.

I empower, I don't judge.

And I don't feel mum guilt. Not for doing what's best for my kids. And not for filling my own cup. And I don't because dad guilt isn't a thing. 💁

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